Being My Own Worst Enemy

Throughout the years I have been struggling with my self-esteem. From the outside people would probably say for the most part that I look like an asshole or a person who full of himself. The funny thing is that I am the total opposite of that. For the people who know me well knows that I don't have that much confidence, yet I surprise myself with some of the things I accomplished. I mean, there are certain things in life that I know I'm confident about such as, networking, marketing, acting, getting a job, and stuff like that. My biggest battle is women....yea I said it women. There is something wrong with me when it comes to women. Its a crazy combination of being oblivious, nervous, insecure, pensive, and down right no guts. I would reject myself, before I could even think about engaging in a conversation. I would say things like "Nah she wasn't looking a me", "Man you gotta be in the NFL to talk to her", "You gotta be rich", "I bet she date model looking dudes", and the list goes on...lol... I know none of us on the face of this planet is perfect, but I put myself so down, that I can't pick myself back up. My closest friends and family hates it when I down play myself, but I can't help it now...If you are a guy reading this you are not alone...and if you are a woman reading this I hope this showed you that men have feelings too.

On a personal note

I got into a car accident that wasn't my fault, because the other insurance claimed liability...at first i felt minor aches and pain of the day of the collision (12/13/08), but now I'm feeling the pain coming back even harder today...but i still have to go on with my life and continue to work. All i have to say if you are driving in the rain....BE CAREFUL....especially in San Diego...seems like people here forget how to drive in the rain because they are so use to driving in great weather conditions

Can't Sleep

For some reason i can't fall alseep...maybe because its the fact that i have to wake and do stuff i don't feel like doin to get by. Theres a difference between someone living and surviving...people who are living are calling their own shots in life...making major moves...people who are just surviving are not getting the full enjoyment out of life...so with that being said fuck surviving i wanna LIVE